Dear Blessy,
I want to commend you for working hard and taking care of yourself and your family. But at this point in your life, you may need more than treatment for your breasts.

This may be a good time to step back and do some self-examination. This does not mean wallowing in the past, but using it to help you draw lessons that will assist you in mapping out your future. There are some questions that you may need to answer: Why did I date a man 20 years older than me? Was I looking for a father figure or what were the things I was ignorant about? Do I have some unresolved issues from my childhood? How do all these factor into relationship formation?

Remember, success in life does not usually depend on others, but your own attitude. Before you embark on changing yourself for your boyfriend, do you know him well? Or better still, do you know yourself well? Knowing yourself will help you take responsibility for your life rather than others doing it for you.

From what you say, you sound like if you do not get this man, then you will not get any other. Pardon me if I am wrong. Desist from acting desperate around him; it may undermine your position in the relationship.

Self-improvement is good, but it should go with healthy motivation. You talked about treatment for breasts. Which parts of your body do you dislike the most? How can you develop a healthy liking for your body? You need to like yourself before others can do so. This may lead you to focus on issues of self-esteem even as you grow into this new relationship.

According to Connie Paladino, self-esteem is a state of mind; it is a way you feel and think about yourself and others, and is measured by the way you act. Building self-esteem does not just happen, it takes making good choices that result in good actions. It is a journey that requires commitment in doing well in the things that matter to you. A bit of effort is required to turn that commitment into results. Results in self-esteem building may help you have satisfactory relationships.

About the treatment of your breasts, the best natural way to firm your breasts is by putting a little muscle and time in exercising. I am unable to give you treatment tips, but swimming is one of the best exercises that helps firm breasts.

All the best as you grow this relationship. Remember it takes more than physical appearance to have fulfilling relationships.
This question was answered by Annette Kirabira, a trained counsellor