Experts say children above five can be left to sleep in their own room

By Claire Nabwire

A child’s room is like his own world and at times, he will not let you into that world
A a parent, your decisions could either build or break your children. These decisions could be as trivial as what the child should wear when leaving the house or as major as what schools the child should attend. An important decision parents are often faced with is whether to let a child have a personal room or not.

Jimmy Enoch, the chief executive officer at Intelligent Finance and a father of two boys, says: “Many factors contribute towards this decision. It depends on the number of children, sex of children, financial or accommodation capability.”

Enoch’s sons (seven and 10 years old) have slept in separate rooms for about three years. “However, they share a bed sometimes; one invites the other from time to time,” he says. He believes that the boys are old enough to have their own rooms.

But Dr. Paul Bangirana, a clinical psychologist at Mulago Hospital, does not think a toddler, even to the age of three, should sleep alone, mostly for security reasons.

The challenge would be with a first-born child. It is advisable to let this child sleep in your room for at least six months before putting him in a different room. However, after the first child, it would be advisable to let siblings share a room.

Dr. Bangirana says this is important because it strengthens the bond among siblings.

Twenty-three-year-old Gerald, a Makerere University graduate in information technology, says he and his brother are very close because they have shared a room since childhood.

“I know him inside out and he knows me inside out. We understand each other because we grew up together in every sense of the word,” Gerald says.

However, Dr. Bangirana notes that sleeping in one room does not necessarily mean the children will be that close. “I can testify to that considering my sister and I never truly got along when we shared a room. Whereas I was the child that woke up too early to listen to music, she would rather sleep till 10:00am; I was the child who wanted the room painted bright purple, yet she wanted it pink. The only reason we didn’t tear each other’s heads off was our parents taught us to respect each other’s space and property (and our father wanted the entire house painted white). Our relationship got better when we were teenagers and had separate rooms,” he says.

Dr. Bangirana believes that it is especially normal for teenagers to want their own privacy. “It doesn’t necessarily mean that they have something to hide,” he says.

The main challenge, however, would be managing the child’s life.

Dr. Bangirana says a child’s room is like his own world and at times, the child will not let you into that world. It is no wonder, therefore, that often, a parent has to knock before entering the child’s room in spite of the fact that the room is in his or her house. In light of this, the doctor suggests that the best way into a child’s world is through a sincere friendship with the child.

It is okay for a child above the age of five to have his or her own room, Dr. Bangirana says. In fact, the child also deserves privacy as a sign of trust. Going through your child’s room and property should be when it is absolutely necessary — for instance if the child’s behaviour is questionable. Other than that, there is no harm in letting a child have his own room. If children share a room, they know better how to live and work in a community with different characters.