THE end of a relationship comes with many things, one of which is what would you do with the items he gave you over time? Should you discard the photos, love letters, cards and gifts that your lover gave you?
Tricia, 33, says keeping old letters and pictures is a reminder of how much you have matured. “The letters help you to know where you have been and help you decide where you are going.”
She says men believe the most obvious thing to do is throw such reminders away because if it were not for the failed relationship, they would not be in a relationship with you the new one.
Joseph Musaalo, a counsellor at Uganda Christian University, Mukono, says deciding whether or not to keep the items depends on how you separated. If you remain friends, then keep the photos and love letters. Besides, because you are friends, the two of you can discuss what to do with them, including giving them back to him.
However, Musaalo explains that not giving back everything is a sign of maturity. “You cannot give back or destroy everything like love and time shared. Just take the memories with you.
“It is best to consult before you burn or tear the photos. Destroying them comes with a lot of myths. Some may interpret their destruction to mean that you want them dead,” he explains.
Musaalo, however, warns that if you decide to start a new relationship with all the items, your new partner may become jealous. He may think you are still attached to your former boyfriend.
He adds that it is okay to keep jewelry, but you should give it back if your ex asks for it. He might want to give that jewelry to a new partner.
Isaac Kavuma, another counsellor, says although a relationship may have ended, some photos hold lots of sentiments. Such pictures remind you of the special moments you shared. He says it may be good to keep such pictures because when you look at them later, you reminisce and smile. They are a reminder of how much you have matured and are part of the growing experience.
